People Are Better Than We Think

Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash

A few months ago, I wrote about what we get wrong about online toxicity. The hostile and misleading content we see on social media comes from a much smaller group of people than we assume, and this misperception makes us more cynical about people in general. Unfortunately, this cynicism is not confined to the digital world.

As one example, a just published series of studies looked at how honest people are when they have a chance to lie without getting caught, and at how honest they assume others to be. The researchers used several paradigms to measure dishonesty. In one of them, people privately guessed the outcome of a die roll and then reported whether they had guessed right, earning a small bonus if they did. Because no one could check their guess, anyone could claim a win. And since only about one in six guesses should be correct by chance, the researchers could estimate how many people had lied. Across the studies, most people told the truth. But when asked to guess how many people would lie, participants overestimated dishonesty by about fourteen percentage points.

This new research is part of a much larger body of work showing that we misjudge other people in all sorts of ways, typically in the pessimistic direction. We overestimate how untrustworthy and selfish people are. We also underestimate the kindness of others, assuming that far fewer people will say yes to a request for help than actually do. This dark view of humanity also appears to be deepening over time. For instance, the share of Americans who say most people can be trusted has decreased in recent decades.

Why are we so prone to thinking the worst of one another? There are probably many reasons, but I think our information ecosystem is a big part of the problem. The news has grown steadily more negative, trading more and more in anger, fear, disgust, and sadness, and we reward that coverage with our clicks and attention.

Fortunately, we can correct these misperceptions. When people learn the facts, they often update their beliefs. For example, in the honesty research previously discussed, participants who were told how honest people actually are became more trusting and more likely to see others as fair and helpful. And in the online toxicity research, when people learned that harmful content comes from a small and unrepresentative minority, they felt more positive about their fellow citizens and recognized that most people share their desire for something better.

This has important implications for our wellbeing. How we see other people informs how we see the world, and our beliefs about the world shape how we feel and function. As I discussed in a previous newsletter, people who see the world as dangerous and other people as untrustworthy tend to fare worse across a wide range of outcomes, from life satisfaction to physical health.

But the implications extend beyond our individual wellbeing. Our beliefs about our fellow humans affect the health of our society and our ability to advance human progress because our attitudes about other people influence our motivational orientation. That orientation can be thought of as a balance between defense and growth. Defensive motivation is about protecting ourselves from threats and avoiding loss. Growth motivation is about expanding the self, exploring, creating, and striving for improvement. Both are essential. We need defense to protect ourselves and to preserve what we have built. But we need growth to build something new, adapt to changing circumstances, innovate, and advance progress.

When we feel threatened, we shift toward defense, becoming more vigilant, cautious, and risk averse, which often serves us well when the threat is real. But when we feel threatened based on a distorted view of the world, we privilege defense for no good reason, and that defensive posture can act as a barrier to growth-oriented attitudes, goals, and behaviors.

I am hopeful because I believe Americans are growing weary of the negativity and pessimism. Most of us do not want to go through life assuming the worst about people. And the good news is that the worst is not the truth. Now we just need to do a better job spreading a more accurate and hopeful picture of humanity.

Have a great weekend!

Clay