How Friendships Across Generations Enrich Our Lives
We often hear about the importance of friendship for our wellbeing, but rarely do we discuss one particularly powerful type of connection: friendships that bridge generations. While we naturally gravitate toward friends our own age, some of life's most enriching relationships can develop when we connect with people who are significantly older or younger than ourselves.
These friendships are uniquely positioned to address challenges that different generations face today. For example, though historically young people have been portrayed as optimists energized by a youthful spirit and can-do attitude, today's young Americans are less optimistic and hopeful than older adults. In a recent Progress Pulse survey, conducted by our team at the Human Flourishing Lab in partnership with the Harris Poll, we found that among adults under the age of 35, only 47% believe that humans will make significant progress on big societal and global challenges and life will be better for future generations, compared to 60% of Americans 65 and older. When looking more specifically at Gen Z (adults under 28), we found that only 42% have a positive outlook about progress. In other words, nearly 60% of Gen Z believes we will fail to solve big challenges and that life will be worse in the future. It is also worth noting that this generational difference is most pronounced among women, suggesting that young women would especially benefit from older female friendships when it comes to their psychological wellbeing and outlook.
This generational pessimism appears to be part of a broader pattern of psychological struggle among young people today. Younger generations are more likely to report experiencing depression and anxiety than older generations, and these mental health challenges often go hand in hand with pessimistic and cynical attitudes about the world. This suggests that young people could benefit from the perspective and wisdom of mentally robust and hopeful older friends who have navigated life's challenges and have witnessed the advance of progress despite temporary setbacks and major disruptions.
Meanwhile, older adults often struggle with feelings of disconnection from a rapidly changing world – challenges that friendships with younger people can help address. It's not that older generations are uninterested in technological advances. A Harris Poll survey found, for instance, that nearly 70% of Boomers are interested in learning how new technologies such as artificial intelligence work and over 80% believe it is important to keep an open mind about new technologies. Younger generations are even more enthusiastic about such new technologies and are more likely to be exposed to them in their educational and professional work. Thus, older generations wanting to keep up with current technological developments, not to mention other societal trends, could benefit from younger friends.
Interestingly, when it comes to the problem of loneliness, younger and older generations have more in common than we might expect. People often think of loneliness as being mainly a problem for older adults who have retired, lost a spouse, or are experiencing health problems that make it difficult to go out and socialize. However, research shows that loneliness actually tends to follow a U-shaped pattern – it peaks among both young and older adults, while dropping in middle age. This shared challenge presents a unique opportunity for mutual support and connection. Younger and older generations alike are especially in need of deep social connection and have a lot to offer one another.
A recent Harris Poll survey speaks to some of these benefits of friendships across generational lines. First, 70% of Americans indicate that they have friends in different age groups. And nearly half of those surveyed who have such friendships report broadened perspectives and improved emotional health. Moreover, 60% say these relationships have expanded their social circles, and 43% report that they have gained new knowledge or skills.
On a broader scale, these friendships might even help address some of our society's deepest divisions. When people connect across generational lines, they often find themselves bridging other divides as well – political, cultural, and social. These relationships create natural opportunities for sharing different viewpoints and experiences, fostering understanding that extends far beyond the friendship itself.
This week, I encourage you to reflect on the age diversity in your own social circle. If you already have cross-generational friendships, consider how to better utilize these relationships: ask an older friend to share stories about how they navigated career transitions, seek advice from a younger friend about emerging cultural trends, or create opportunities for meaningful conversation by discussing books, movies, or current events together. For those looking to build new connections, consider joining a community group, mentor program, or hobby club where you can meet people of different ages who share your interests. And don't overlook the opportunities within your own family – these relationships can offer similar intergenerational benefits. Share family photos and stories with relatives, schedule regular video calls, or start a family history project together. The next conversation that bridges the generation gap might just open up new perspectives, brighten your outlook, and contribute to a more connected society.
Have a great weekend!
Clay