It’s no secret that humans are social creatures and that relationships matter for our mental wellbeing, physical health, and success in life. Yet Americans are increasingly spending time alone. In 2023, around one quarter of American adults reported eating all of their daily meals alone, an overall increase of more than 50% since 2003. Even among people living with others, about 18% ate all of their meals alone the previous day in 2023, compared to 12% in 2003. According to research from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, young Americans aged 15 to 29 spent about 45% more time alone in 2023 than in 2010.
Even though we all know that relationships are important, we might fail to appreciate how much engaging with others brightens our day. Indeed, past research shows that people tend to underestimate the emotional benefits of social interactions. New research provides compelling evidence of just how much we benefit from sharing our daily activities with others. Turns out that nearly everything we do is more enjoyable when we’re with other people.
In this research, psychologists Dunigan Folk and Elizabeth Dunn analyzed data from the American Time Use Survey across four different years, 2010, 2012, 2013, and 2021. They examined over 105,000 activity episodes from more than 41,000 participants. The researchers looked at a comprehensive range of daily activities, more than 80 in total, to see whether being with others made them more enjoyable.
In this survey, participants described their previous day in detail, breaking it down episode by episode. They were then randomly asked to rate three of these episodes, indicating how happy they felt during each activity and whether they were interacting with anyone at the time. The activities ranged from eating and exercising to mundane tasks like grocery shopping and cleaning.
The findings were consistent. Across all four years, participants rated virtually every common daily activity as more enjoyable when interacting with someone else. In fact, out of 297 activity-specific effects examined, only one was negative. Kitchen cleanup in 2021 was slightly less enjoyable when social interaction was involved, though in all other years, this effect went in the other direction. From eating and exercising to reading and running errands, adding companionship was associated with greater happiness.
Some activities showed particularly large happiness boosts when done with others. Eating and drinking consistently topped the list, showing the largest increases in enjoyment when paired with socializing. Travel-related activities such as commuting and active leisure pursuits such as running were also all much more enjoyable when they involved being with others.
Interestingly, even activities people typically do alone such as reading showed benefits from companionship. This might help explain the growing popularity of silent book clubs and reading parties in recent years, where people gather at bars, libraries, bookstores, and other venues to read in the company of others. There’s no assigned reading. People bring whatever book they’re reading, often share what they’ve brought, then settle in for an hour or so of silent reading together. Afterward, they may or may not stick around to discuss their books. Even while absorbed in their own books, what matters is they weren’t alone.
The researchers also found that being with others predicted people’s happiness even after accounting for their mood immediately before the activity. This helps rule out the possibility that happier people simply choose to socialize more.
It’s important to remember that people are motivated by more than just happiness. As the researchers point out, solitude can be useful for creativity, productivity, and personal goals. For example, preparing for an important exam might require foregoing a fun but potentially unproductive group study session.
The good news is that even though there has been a trend of people spending more and more time alone, as I discussed in last week’s newsletter, we are also seeing signs that people are seeking to reverse it by engaging in more real world activities that involve other people. If you are looking for ways to bring more companionship into your daily routine, try turning mundane tasks into social opportunities. Invite a friend or family member to join you for running errands, walking the dog, or tackling household projects. Exercise together by joining a fitness class or asking a friend to accompany you on your workout. Combine hobbies with socializing through book clubs, craft groups, or organized gatherings around shared interests. Look for opportunities for communal dining because even simple meals become more enjoyable when shared with others.
In our increasingly isolated world, taking simple steps to spend more time with others during everyday activities can make a meaningful difference in our wellbeing. We’re wired for connection, and our daily lives are enriched when we embrace that reality.
Have a great weekend!
Clay